An Indiana woman's Facebook rant went viral, and we should pause to reflect on its meaning.
A customer, at Kilroy's Bar in Indiana, became angry over a woman having a heart attack and ruining her meal. Have you heard this story? If not, here is a recap and then my perspective on an ever growing issue in today's society.
The woman posted on Facebook: "I will never go back to this location for New Year's Eve!!! After the way we were treated when we spent $700+ and having our meal ruined by watching a dead person being wheeled out from an overdose my night is ruined!!! The manager also told us someone dying was more important than us being there making us feel like our business didn't matter, but I guess allowing a junkie on your property is more important then paying customers who are spending a lot of money!"
The manager of the bar gave this response, "Hi Holly, thanks for reaching out! We love feedback, whether it be positive or negative. I especially like feedback like this so other can see the disgusting people that we have to deal with sometimes." The manager then posted another update stating that the woman actually had a heart attack and was revived on the way to the hospital. She is currently in critical condition.
Multiple news outlets are running the story and there are people debating both sides. A Go Fund Me page has been set up for the woman to cover medical expenses. Masses of people are in an uproar and within a couple of days this story will be gone. I am hoping a few will stop and truly look at the underlying issue attached to this viral story.
The part of the story that truly bothers me is the fact the woman assumed the 70 year old woman was a junkie, died of an overdose and she somehow deserved it. Instead of judging and assuming, she could have felt compassion for the family across the room, now living a nightmare on an evening that is built on new resolutions and future dreams. Even after people learned it was a heart attack, I've heard comments such as, "What was her diet like? What did she do to deserve a heart attack?" We may make choices that lead to bad consequences, but I truly believe nobody deserves a heart attack or an overdose.
This is a disturbing trend in our society. We tend to blame the victims and assume that they must have done something terrible to deserve such a fate. We tend to forget that bad things happen to good people. We have become a society that blames and minimizes other people's suffering. It is a way we justify not feeling compassion. Why is this? What is the cause of this lack of compassion?
I believe the amount of time we spend scanning digital media has desensitized us to the plight of others for more than a superficial level. It is not possible to feel deep emotions about everything we read. It would cripple us. This desensitization has spilled into the real world to where we are not able to feel for others, even when they are being wheeled out on a gurney in front of us.
I work in a field where I see the day to day struggles of human beings. I see the choices they make, the paths they walk. I see the big picture, the long term effects of their choices, unforeseen obstacles and blessings. People no longer see big pictures but headlines. Brief glimpses into things that either don't relate to them or cause a quick reaction to troll a comment or donate money and then move on to the next viral topic. Scanning headlines has allowed us to not delve into true emotions and digest the underlying causes or long term effects of our responses or lack of responses.
How can we build compassion back into our consciousness?
I don't expect people to stop scanning the headlines or feel deep emotion for every viral post. A more productive way to build back compassion is to look past the digital version of reality and feel the emotions around us. We must relearn to empathize with others and then turn that into compassion. Let's look the person next to us in the eye. Feel how our world is intersected with the woman at the other table. We must feel for one another, and for more than a headline, if we expect to bring back compassion into our consciousness.
The woman posted on Facebook: "I will never go back to this location for New Year's Eve!!! After the way we were treated when we spent $700+ and having our meal ruined by watching a dead person being wheeled out from an overdose my night is ruined!!! The manager also told us someone dying was more important than us being there making us feel like our business didn't matter, but I guess allowing a junkie on your property is more important then paying customers who are spending a lot of money!"
The manager of the bar gave this response, "Hi Holly, thanks for reaching out! We love feedback, whether it be positive or negative. I especially like feedback like this so other can see the disgusting people that we have to deal with sometimes." The manager then posted another update stating that the woman actually had a heart attack and was revived on the way to the hospital. She is currently in critical condition.
Multiple news outlets are running the story and there are people debating both sides. A Go Fund Me page has been set up for the woman to cover medical expenses. Masses of people are in an uproar and within a couple of days this story will be gone. I am hoping a few will stop and truly look at the underlying issue attached to this viral story.
The part of the story that truly bothers me is the fact the woman assumed the 70 year old woman was a junkie, died of an overdose and she somehow deserved it. Instead of judging and assuming, she could have felt compassion for the family across the room, now living a nightmare on an evening that is built on new resolutions and future dreams. Even after people learned it was a heart attack, I've heard comments such as, "What was her diet like? What did she do to deserve a heart attack?" We may make choices that lead to bad consequences, but I truly believe nobody deserves a heart attack or an overdose.
This is a disturbing trend in our society. We tend to blame the victims and assume that they must have done something terrible to deserve such a fate. We tend to forget that bad things happen to good people. We have become a society that blames and minimizes other people's suffering. It is a way we justify not feeling compassion. Why is this? What is the cause of this lack of compassion?
I believe the amount of time we spend scanning digital media has desensitized us to the plight of others for more than a superficial level. It is not possible to feel deep emotions about everything we read. It would cripple us. This desensitization has spilled into the real world to where we are not able to feel for others, even when they are being wheeled out on a gurney in front of us.
I work in a field where I see the day to day struggles of human beings. I see the choices they make, the paths they walk. I see the big picture, the long term effects of their choices, unforeseen obstacles and blessings. People no longer see big pictures but headlines. Brief glimpses into things that either don't relate to them or cause a quick reaction to troll a comment or donate money and then move on to the next viral topic. Scanning headlines has allowed us to not delve into true emotions and digest the underlying causes or long term effects of our responses or lack of responses.
How can we build compassion back into our consciousness?
I don't expect people to stop scanning the headlines or feel deep emotion for every viral post. A more productive way to build back compassion is to look past the digital version of reality and feel the emotions around us. We must relearn to empathize with others and then turn that into compassion. Let's look the person next to us in the eye. Feel how our world is intersected with the woman at the other table. We must feel for one another, and for more than a headline, if we expect to bring back compassion into our consciousness.
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